So Close But So Far Away

There are times when my son seems so far away, but he is sitting right next to me.  The distance between us can be painful knowing he is in the same room, but I am unable to reach him.  Even if I try to engage him he can be resistant with him telling me “no” or “go away”, and sometimes he just gets up and moves to another area of the house to continue with whatever he was doing so not to get interrupted again.  He could be playing with cars on the floor and I try to join in by picking a couple cars for myself to pretend play with him, but he wants nothing to do with it.  He would rather move the cars away from me or demand that I give them back.  There are other times he is present with his wanting and initiating interaction with others, and it is during these small moments of clarity and relevance that I most enjoy the relationship we have as a father and son. 

It’s rare in the fall season that we spend time in the backyard tossing around a football or playing basketball, and it is rare that Zach wants to help me do things around the house, like, mow the lawn or hand me tools while I replace the garbage disposal.  Finding time together and doing things that we share a common interest so we can bond is often limited, but trying to take full advantage of those moments when they happen can make a world of difference for the relationship. 
For a number of years I was involved on a limited basis if at all with taking Zach to his therapy appointments during the week.  The duty was given to my wife who was obviously getting run down with running all over the place to get him to the appointments on time while also trying to entertain our daughter. Within the last couple of years we decided to split the therapy appointment duty and now my wife takes my son on Mondays to his music/social integration therapy, and I take him Wednesday to speech and occupational therapy.  This small moment of riding in the car with Zach to and from therapy has given me an opportunity to communicate with him one on one, find out how he did in school, and also talk with the therapist to gain some knowledge regarding what they are working on and how Zach is progressing.

One thing Zach and I do enjoy doing together on the weekends is wrestling in the living room or any room my wife allows us to in the house.  Zach is usually the one that initiates the wrestling match by diving on top of me and at some point his sister wants to join in, which usually does not end well for me.  It’s really cool that Zach is at an age and development that he wants to engage me into playing an age appropriate game with him, which was not always the case, but one I completely enjoy.  There is also an occasion when Zach will want to watch football and then he will try to tackle me when I get up to grab a snack during the commercial.  

These moments may seem simple, short and not significant to some, but they are moments of great significance when we think about how far our son has come with his development.  The goal now is to have more initiated and interactive moments that last longer, but regardless of what we are doing I just want to be a part of Zach’s world where ever he maybe at any given moment.  Any moment with one another is time spent together, and that really is all I want with my son.