In the Beginning

I remember when my wife, Debby, told me she was pregnant and what joyful moment it was for the two of us.  There were also several moments of panic on my part out of fear that I was going to help bring another human being into this world and then be responsible for raising it.  At first I did not think I was cut out for the job.  This is not to say I did not like children, because I did.  I just preferred them to be somebody else’s responsibility.  You know, the kind you might hold every now and then or watch for a little bit so the parents can run some errands knowing full well they will take the kid back before the night is over.  But even holding or interacting with someone else’s baby or child made my heart skip a few beats at times, because I was unsure of what to do and if I was doing it right without scaring the parent or making the kid cry.  The worst is when someone lets you hold their baby, and the next thing you know the parent has disappeared from the room and the baby starts screaming to the point it drowns out any other sound in the room.  Then, when the parent returns to the room with the look on their face that says, “What the hell’s wrong”, your only defense is, “I didn’t do anything...I was just holding the kid.” What do you expect, I was the youngest in my family and I never saw or recall seeing my mother make bottles or change diapers.  For me to become a father was like a fish born out of water, who was about to be washed into the ocean at high tide, I had no clue what the heck I was doing. 

When it comes to parenting I do not think you can declare that as your major in college and there is no on the job training either. There is a plethora of books on parenting and they all for the most part talk about the same thing, but each modifies the message in order to distinguish themselves from the others.  Although, I think it is good to take a parenting class and purchase a parenting book, what do we really have to draw on to know what to do as parents?  Our parents! This is a scary thought when you hear about the negative upbringing experiences of some individuals you wonder if that type of parenting will continue.  Let us be real, parenting is part learned from our own childhood experiences, part innate, and part natural for some. What your parents did or how they handled situations is your hands-on and real life experience to reflect on and apply.  Granted, you probably did not agree with everything your parents did, or maybe you did not like anything they did at all.  But you have a foundation to look back on and the things you liked you will pass on to your children, and the things you did not like you can adjust to your own satisfaction.